On Wednesday, October 6, 2021 I had my 39-week appointment during which I had my OB strip my membranes. Due to my having had gestational diabetes, and the toll pregnancy was taking on my body, I didn’t want to go past my due date. I also wanted to avoid induction in the form of Pitocin, …
My Abortion Story
Here’s my “abortion” story. It was April 9, 2020 and Anthony and I went in for an anatomy ultrasound at almost 21 weeks gestation. There was no heartbeat. Our baby had died at least 2 weeks prior if not more. My body didn’t get the memo and was holding onto a life that no longer …
Partners in Creation
In January and then again in May I was asked to speak in two different meetings for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Given the controversy our world currently faces, I feel it is time for me to share that message with you. You will find my style bold, a pattern I think …
Memorialize the Things the Lord Has Done
It’s been way too long since I’ve blogged. When I last wrote I was around 15 weeks pregnant with a baby. That baby, Kimberlee, is now 8 months old and she is the light and joy of our lives. She is one of our biggest blessings and I cannot imagine life without her. She is …
Pregnancy After Loss
Pregnancy after loss is like being on the longest and most intense roller coaster ride you’ve ever been on. You’re getting on the ride and you’re excited and nervous at the same time. As the ride progresses you continue to experience excitement and then also fear when you come to big drops, twists, and turns. …
Silencing and Shaming Women
Our society has become very skilled at silencing the journey of motherhood. With shutting down discussion from the discovery of two pink lines to how hard pregnancy is and then all the way through the post-partum stages, we have created very serious problems, two of which I will address: shame around pregnancy loss and higher …
Christmas Grief
Here I am at almost 4:00am on Christmas morning and it’s finally setting in … the fact that today would’ve been my daughter’s first Christmas. Yes, she would’ve only been four months old if carried full-term, but I still would’ve had so much fun buying her cute outfits and making her little stuffed animals, booties, …
In Her Likeness
Losing Adlee was incredibly hard and then there was a calm … a long calm. Feeling ready, my husband and I have been trying for almost seven months and well … still not being pregnant has also been hard. Put both of those together and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a broken heart, mother, …
My SOS
A little over a week ago I finally called in an SOS to God. I was hurt. I was angry. The only person there seemed to blame was God … and the only person who could ultimately help me was also God. So I called out… God, I’m mad at You. I’m mad that You …
To My Ladies With PCOS
To my ladies with PCOS … we have a problem or rather problems. Our hormones are out of whack creating all kinds of problems. We struggle with our weight, hormonal acne, we either are pre-diabetic or have diabetes and maybe even have problems with our thyroid. All of these issues lead to infertility, high-risk pregnancies, …
Get a Divorce
I recently said something I never thought in my wildest dreams I’d ever say. I won’t make you guess because you never will. I actually counseled someone to get a divorce. Yes, you read that right. Still need me to repeat it? I counseled someone to get a divorce. The “D” Word Those of you …
My Daughter’s Due Date
Tomorrow, August 24th, 2020, is our daughter’s due date. The only thing is, she won’t be coming because she’s already gone. I have experienced a lot of emotions with this day approaching. I have felt emotional because she won’t be here with us in this life. We never got to hear her cry, see …